Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Friendship
PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION!! I'm sure if you read my blog you have seen my post of TRUE friendship. I have been struggling with this for a while now but I have to be cautious about how I say things here because I know some of my friends read by blog and I don't want them to take it the wrong way. I have always wanted a really strong close friendship with my friends and in the past I have had those things but it's seemed to fade away with time. Once I have a strong close friendship with someone it seems as though something happens and for some reason they drift away and find "new" sometimes even a stronger closer friendship than we had and it hurts so bad because I feel as though I've done something wrong. I am still friends with the ones that I've had those strong close friendships with but it hurts when I know how they use to count on me so much for anything they needed and now I see or know they have someone else they turn to. I feel as though I am the worst friend ever. Yes I do have "friends" but I just wish our friendships could be where they use to be. I know things change but I know people who have had strong close friendships for over 30 years so I think if you have an awesome friendship with someone you shouldn't let it fade or drift away. I feel like I am always the one who is trying to "save" the friendship and apparently I always come up short. I wish there were scenarios I could put on here that would help open eyes and someone could give me advice but it's too personal. Maybe one day I will be the friend that someone is looking for. Until then I will be waiting for advice on how to get over this struggle. It's really been about 2 years that I have struggled with this and it hasn't been 1 friendship that I feel as though I've lost but a couple or maybe even a few. I will admit though there is one that has hurt me alot. Anywho, if anyone has any advice for me leave me a comment! I would appreciate any of it good or bad. :) Thanks for listening (if you do)!
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2 comments:
I'm sure it's not you Sara. I have been through this too. I think it's part of getting older, getting married, having kids and all those things that significantly change our day to day and who we spend time with intentionally or otherwise. I've moved around my whole life so I never had the opportunity to make one of those 30 year friendships, although I have one or 2 that I think will eventually make it that far. My problem has been that I'm so trusting and so I will think that other people are trustworthy and then after a short period of time I realize that they aren't as good a friend as I thought. They aren't there when the times get tough. And when they do come around it's to ask for something or to show a public "look how nice I am." If that makes sense. I know you've made comments about the great friends I have based on comments you've seen on facebook, and while yes, I do have some good friends, so much of that is just a show. I've learned a lot about this over the last year with everything we've been through. And I know our situation limits our friendship, but I have definitely appreciated what we do have. You're a great person Sara. And God WILL bring the right kinds of friends into your life.
Thank you Sarah! Your kind words made me cry. I know because of our situation we can't be very close but I want to thank you for always "being" there for me. You have been a great friend and I really appreciate you and what we have to!
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